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Finding status quotes and posts for Facebook or WhatsApp?
Then you are at the right place!
Here are the blend of witty, emotional, humorous and sarcasm filled statuses and posts for you!
Focus on the best and delegate the rest.
Sometimes offense is the best defense.
If future can’t be predicted why not create it!
How you make others think about themselves says a lot about you.
If everything is perfect, you would neither learn nor grow!
Failure is not opposite of success it’s a part of success.
Success and attitude are equally as important as ability.
I want to be your favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
I do what you won’t today so that I can what you can’t tomorrow!
Don’t tell God how strong is your problem, tell your problem how strong your God is!
Be like a star which is self-illuminating, so that darkness can’t hide you!
Remember you are unique just like everyone else!
Travel is not only visiting sights, it is the permanent change in the way man embraces different cultures.
We had to do everything manually today since the computers were down at work. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire!
Status shuffle quotes
I can’t thank this company enough! I bought a bag of air, and the company is nice enough to put some chips in it.
People who make face washes clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like!
If you have a sore throat, follow what exactly what is mentioned on Strepsils sheet: Take one and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN!
Recently, as i leave my house for work, my long time enemy has started greeting me every day just down my building as if he is trying to make up our friendship! – felt great until I realized I forgot to keep password to my open WiFi connection!
I hate when I make a perfect plan of a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script.
My dear ‘Life’y, When I said can my day get any worse? it was just a rhetorical question, not a challenge!
If at all people in horror movies ever listened to me they would have been still be alive.
I am optimistic. I always have that bit of hope inside me during a fire drill, that school gets actually on fire.
When i create a new username and it’s like.. Sorry this username is not available- try abc123889000! – Is it a username or emergency contact no.?
My Social media is just like my refrigerator. I do check it every 10 minutes and yet there’s nothing new!
Recipes shown on TV and online are just like profile pictures! They never look like the picture!
I saw someone extremely gorgeous today! I stared, I smiled, and then when I got tired, I put the mirror down!
Yes, I believe in magic because it’s the only way to explain how mom’s says ‘it’s lying next to your desk’ and it is!
Being optimistic is in my blood-I told my friend ‘I could literally cut your phone bill in HALF with a very new product called scissors!’
Once a couple did a baby photo shoot with Burger! Aww..so much love and emotion!
Texting while driving can be incredibly stupid and dangerous too! You’re practically begging for typos.
Now that smart watches can read our pulse, there should be a feature that erases our browser history if our heart stops beating!
My closet is like 13 shirts I plan to fit into again and 2 shirts I wear alternately.
Remember to be careful while following the ‘Masses’ sometimes ‘M’ is silent!
I never meant when i said- I hated you. I just said that- if you were on fire and I had water, I would drink the water!
Facebook status quotes
The way some girls wear makeup these days, it’s very obvious they didn’t excel at coloring as a kid…
Ahh…there was such a glorious time, before social media, when you could just lose touch with stupid people so easily!
I just hate it when I gain 10 kg and belly becomes a tire, for a role and then realize I’m not an actor!
When we become old we won’t be screaming: Get off my lawn! * shaking our fists*. Our generation will be yelling- Get off my WiFi * making passive aggressive memes*.
My mom put shredded carrots and beetroots in pizza yesterday, so don’t you tell me about your rough day!
My nerdy friend’s jokes be like- If I ever die in the same hospital as I was born in the average velocity of my life would be 0.
Arghhh…I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days!
I am the most religious person in this world- just before the exams and results!
I someone drunk text you, appreciate it, they’re thinking you when they can barely think straight!
My PJ’s when i am bored be like- Friend: Age is just a number for.. Me: Dude, False! Age is a word.
When girls be like- Hehe XP 😛 ! ME: Hehe Windows! *Blocked*
Be a blessing to someone today 🙂
The biggest mistake that you can ever make is to continuously be afraid that you will make one!
The question isn’t who is going to let me! It’s about who can stop me!
Be happy! It’s one way of being wise.
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible!
Life has always been simple – engineers are taught 4 years to make it complicated though!
I want us to meet each other with always a smile, for it’s the beginning of love!
One shot way on how to be a professional photographer? Make a FB page, click pic of every flower, insect and post it! *photographers these days*
God please give me patience and not strength, otherwise i may knock these bitches down!
New generation be like: OMG look at him…Can I please have selfie with you? *clicks selfie* I guess I have seen him on TV will search on google .. Can’t miss this post on FB, Instagram, and gotta tweet!
Biggest responsibility that mom gives me- Turn off the gas when you hear 2 cooker sounds!
The scariest thing ever- When I see 10 miscalls from Mom on my cell and I am like *dead*
Dad I want a new phone, how about apple please! *Mom shouts from behind* ‘Why are you asking your dad! Take it from Fridge!’
Be like that 0.1% of the germs…Never give up. No matter what! 😛
Trust God…But lock your car!
The only reason I am fat is , because my tiny body couldn’t occupy my personality!
Silence isn’t empty but it’s full of answers!
If i would ever be asked to define siblings, answer would be- Bunch of shameless people who confidently steal your chocolates, food, pen, charger…!
That moment, when you were studying all the time and you picked up your phone just for a second and your parents enter your room! Damn.. I was studying! *screwed*
I hate it… when after an argument, I think about all the clever shit I could have said..!
The first 18 years of life is like a free trial and after that its pay to play!
Always be like- I am a diamond dear…You can’t break me!
No matter how long you have traveled in wrong direction, you can always turn back and make it right!
Always don’t trust what you see, even salt looks like sugar!
I people start getting notifications for screenshotted texts, then we would be screwed, ain’t we?!
Whatsapp status quotes
There are so many scams on internet! Pay me 1.99$and i will tell you how to avoid them!
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead. It’s difficult only for others. It’s the same when you are stupid!
I sometimes wish, everything was as easy as getting fat!
Local minded people will never understand global minded goals!
Support your friend’s business and progression like you support the celebrities you barely know!
The bitter truth is you will never be ready totally, so start from today!
The problem with close minded people is their mouths are always open!
Don’t let small minds tell you that your dreams are big!
It’s always difficult to find friends with same mental disorder!
Poor people will have big TV but rich people will have big library.
Stay away from negative people- they always have a ‘problem’ for every ‘solution’.
It can’t be done – the 4 most motivations words i can hear!
Truth may not cost you anything but a lie might cost you everything.
We may feel empty because we leave pieces of everything we love!
Be yourself! Because original is more worthy than a copy.
Don’t get burned by the same flame twice.
Remember- Mistake repeated more than once is a decision.
Follow your heart but please take your brain along with you!
When the flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows and not the flower!
The race never ends unless I win.
Every next level of your life will demand a different version of you.
Making a big life change is pretty scary. But what’s even scarier is regret.
Sometimes we are like the stars, we fall to make someone’s wish come true.
I miss those days when homework was just coloring.
Excuses will always be there but opportunities won’t!
Growing older is compulsory but growing up is optional.
When I kill a spider or any bug, I think of its relatives who are going to come to me for revenge.
If life gives you questions google gives you answers.
Before talking, please connect your tongue to brain!
Tip to reduce weight.. Turn your head to right and then to left when someone offers you food!
Forget love, I did rather fall in chocolate.
I don’t have bad writing, I just have my own font!
One day I am gonna make onions cry!
For men who think a woman’s place is in kitchen, remember that’s where knives are kept!
There is a reason why god put eyes in front that is because we could see where we are going, not where we have been!